Skip to main content

Discipline

I actually haven't gotten the punishments that I have coming to me, which actually kind of worries me because I feel like they are piling up and when I finally get it, it's going to be rough. However, a lot of times I think that waiting may be worse than the actual flogging/paddling/caning.

Yes, I want my Masters to beat me. Not only does it force me to get my focus on service back, but it reminds me of my status in the hierarchy of the household. And I'm not hoping to get any sexual thrill out of this, which is where some people get confused. There are masochists who get off from pain, but I do not count myself among their number. To me, when I am crying and begging my Masters to stop, I come to a realization that I am not in control. When I am promising to never make whatever mistake I made again, I can see that I really am a slave and that I have willingly placed myself under Their control. 

However, I have to say that the best thing about being disciplined like this, is because of the alleviation of guilt and closure. I actually think this sort of thing is missing in "vanilla" relationships. When a "vanilla" couple has an argument or disagreement, it can sometimes go on forever. One gets the silent treatment. One may bring up the infraction months later. There's no real closure. However, as a slave, there is never a question as to who is wrong or right. Master is always right. And once a slave has been completely punished, it can move on. Master can put it back to work knowing that it will be working much harder now in an effort to avoid the belt/cane/flogger/paddle. Of course, many Masters use what they call "maintenance" punishments. These are punishments that happen once a week perhaps at a specific time and are used to keep the slave in the right headspace. 

Lastly, I'd like to talk about self-discipline, which I believe is one of the most important skills that a slave can develop. I'm not always near my Masters so it takes a great deal of self-discipline to follow orders and commands. I've gotten to the point, however, that disobedience isn't really an option. I feel such guilt and anxiety if I do not obey Them. This has extended to many aspects of my life. For example, when at my own place in my bedroom, I'm naked. Sometimes plugged. It makes me feel happy to still be in my "uniform" when away from Their presence. I was not told to do this, but I do it out of respect and a need to feel owned. I work out every day after work. Again, this is done away from my Masters so it would be easy to blow off. However, it doesn't even occur to me to do so. Sometimes I feel that it is all a plan of my Masters. I am so grateful to Them and in need of Their control, that it's almost like being hypnotized at all times. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

More Humiliation

So, I'm not sure if I will get to serve my Masters tonight, but I am so horny that all I can think about is being humiliated and degraded by Them. It seems to be the theme for the week. Master J has been upping my fag training and now I can't think of anything else. I listen to fag hypno files every night, and last night I was made to perform on cam for another Dom who I'd never met. Anyway, I was randomly thinking of other things that I would find humiliating. Although, I failed to point out in my last post that just the mere act of being a slave is humiliating. I am absolutely proud to serve my Masters, but every now and then I get a little embarrassed. After all, how many men do you know who would willingly lick and suck another man's feet, let alone beg for his cock, or do his laundry and dishes? Certainly, no men that I know. Definitely a few fags though. I'm learning my place.  Here are some more of the things that I would find particularly humiliating. ...
2 comments
Read more

Current Protocols

At home, my uniform basically consists of my chastity device (which is on 24/7),  a leather collar, and leather wrist and ankle cuffs. That's it. Sometimes, my Masters may have me keep on my jock, or my socks and shoes or boots, depending on Their aesthetical tastes that day, but in general, I'm kept, well...naked. When I enter Their home, I immediately go to the designated room and strip out of my clothes, donning the specified restraints. Once I am properly clad, I get right to work. My first task is to go through the house and pick up any trash that I see. I also keep my eye out for any dirty dishes that need to go to the kitchen or dirty clothes that need to go into the hamper. I then start any laundry that needs to be done, make the bed, and start washing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen cabinets. Every couple visits, I sweep the floors and dust. During this time, I try to look for anything else that may need to be done. I also make sure both of my Masters have drinks...
3 comments
Read more

Freedom in Chastity

I feel it whenever I shift my body in my seat. I feel it when I am doing my 30 minutes on the elliptical at the gym. I especially feel it when I have to sit down to take a piss. I feel it when I am bent over and plowed. My dick has been locked up for about a week so far. My Masters allowed me out to cum a few days ago and then I was locked into a different device. The idea that I can in no way access my own penis is a very huge turn on, which ironically, makes me hard. Basically, my only means of orgasm is through my ass...which I haven't quite figured out yet. But, I've heard from some subs/slaves/faggots that it can take months for it to be trained. I was punished yesterday for forgetting to put away my water glass before I went home. During my punishment, I was asked how long it had been since I had cum. I was not sure, so for the purposes of record-keeping, I will be counting today as 1. I have just added a widget to the blog to keep track of this. It can be a challenge...
2 comments
Read more