So, tomorrow marks my 50th (!!!) day in chastity. 50 days of no touching my dicklet. 50 days of no cumming. It's been difficult at times, but at this point, regardless of how much I wish I could jerk off like a real man, I would beg my Owners to keep me locked up. I'm not even joking. You heard me right. I would beg them not to unlock my little dicklet. At this point, it just feels right. It reminds me that I am not a real man. That I am a faggot slave in service. I would feel lost if it were free. Last night, Master J chained me up against the wall, spread-eagle. He teased my locked dicklet and my nipples while a hypnosis file played in the background. I can't seem to recall what the title of the file was, but it definitely turned me on. At one point, Master unchained my legs and pushed them further apart being chaining them again. I was blindfolded and gagged. He asked me if I was ready to accept some of the discipline I had coming to me for various infractions. Once
I actually haven't gotten the punishments that I have coming to me, which actually kind of worries me because I feel like they are piling up and when I finally get it, it's going to be rough. However, a lot of times I think that waiting may be worse than the actual flogging/paddling/caning. Yes, I want my Masters to beat me. Not only does it force me to get my focus on service back, but it reminds me of my status in the hierarchy of the household. And I'm not hoping to get any sexual thrill out of this, which is where some people get confused. There are masochists who get off from pain, but I do not count myself among their number. To me, when I am crying and begging my Masters to stop, I come to a realization that I am not in control. When I am promising to never make whatever mistake I made again, I can see that I really am a slave and that I have willingly placed myself under Their control. However, I have to say that the best thing about being disciplined like t